Anencephaly facts

Done by Anencephaly Study at Duke University Medical Center

http://www.chg.duke.edu/diseases/anencephaly.html

Approximately 2% of babies with anencephaly will have a chromosome anomaly (a difference in the number or structure of the chromosomes). Testing for chromosome anomalies is possible via amniocentesis or collection of a fetal blood or tissue sample at delivery.

Environmental factors such as obesity, diabetes, certain medications, pesticides, maternal fever and folic acid deficiency have been implicated in contributing to anencephaly. Additional unknown environmental factors also likely play a role.

Anencephaly is caused by failure of the cranial end of the neural tube (fetal structure that develops into brain and spine) to close by day 28 of gestation.

After having one pregnancy with anencephaly, the chance to have a second pregnancy with an open neural tube defect is approximately 3%. Meaning 1 in 33 women will experience a second affected pregnancy.

Humans have approximately 20,000 genes. Genes are the instructions or blueprint for our body. We get half our genes from our mom and half from our dad. Changes in genes likely contribute to the development of anencephaly.

Anencephaly is more common in girls. Approximately 2 in 3 babies with anencephaly is a girl.

Every woman of childbearing age should take 400 micrograms of folic acid daily to reduce the risk of fetal open neural tube defects. Women with a previous pregnancy with anencephaly should take 4,000 micrograms (4 milligrams) of folic acid daily prior to subsequent pregnancies.

Anencephaly is caused by a combination of multiple genetic (inherited) and environmental factors. Unfortunately, most of these factors are not known.

Learning more about the genetic causes of anencephaly may lead to the availability of genetic testing for at-risk family members and potential new preventative measures.

Anencephaly can be seen on ultrasound by the 12th week of pregnancy.

“Angel, you were born to fly!”

  Spring/ Easter 2012 <3

 Cali's tree getting some beautiful blooms <3

My Normal..

Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal".
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember her.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent, spouse, family member or friend is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child.
Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and all over the USA, but yet never having met any of them face to face.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is asking God why he took your child's life instead of yours and asking if there even is a God.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are "Normal"

Love you so much sweet baby girl

Pregnancy & Infant loss day

<3 May peace fill your hearts today as we gather worldwide to remember all babies gone too soon. <3

Breaking the silence..

Our baby died. She has a name. Her name is Cali Lindy Groover. She was a much wanted daughter, granddaughter, and niece. She was born on May 9th, 2011. Unfortunately, she was one of many babies that died that day. She died from stillbirth due to Anencephaly. 1 in 4 woman will have a miscarriage, stillbirth or some type of infant loss... October is baby loss awareness month. ♥

Please remember all the babies gone too soon this October!!

October is a month to break down the walls of society that keep pregnancy, infant and child loss a hush hush subject. People view the death of a baby as just a sad thing that happened. These babies that die are not sad things that happen. They are people, much loved and wanted children. They are brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, grandsons and granddaughters.

Blogging Challenge for Mothers of Loss

1: Who are you? Caitlin Groover.. Wife to Chris Groover.. & Mommy to Cali Groover.

2: Tell us about your child(ren).- Cali Lindy Groover, our beautiful angel.. Born May 9th, 2011 at 10:08pm. Born with a life taking  NTD, Anencephaly.

3: Through your grief process who has been your "rock". - Definitely my amazing husband! I could not have asked for someone better to take care of me and help me through all my hard times.

4: Through your grief process what has kept you going? Pictures. I am constantly looking at pictures of my little Cali girl.

5: Do you ever get subtle reminds of your angel(s)? If so what what are they? Everything reminds me of her! She is always on my mind :)

6: How do you answer the question of how many children you have? 1 beautiful angel up in heaven. She will always be my first born! I will treat her as I would treat any of my future children.

7: Do you do something to honor your angel(s)? If so what? I am always doing special things for her. My favorite is our memorial tree we planted in our back yard in honor of her.

8: Do you feel you have more good days than bad ones? Lately, more bad. :(

9: If you have other children how has your loss affected them? If you don't other children how has your loss affected your relationship with your partner?- Our loss has made me & Chris closer in so many ways. We created something so completely beautiful & we are thankful for that everyday.

10: If you have Rainbows or older children do they know and remember your angel(s)? No rainbows yet. Praying hard for one though :)

11: It is said that Father's and Mother's grieve differently. Do you feel this is true with your angel's father? - Very true! I'm always a complete mess, & Chris can keep his cool better than I can. I know he feels the pain just as much as I do, but he shows it in different ways.

12: How has the rest of your family dealt with your loss? - Every family member deals with it differently. I am grateful to have all of their support and for them all to recognize Cali as a person.

13: Does anyone else besides you speak your child's name? Yes, lots of people do! It makes me feel good hearing people talk about her.

14: What have you done to preserve your child's memories or make new memories of your angel.- Cali's grave site has become very special to me. I spend alot of time there.

15: Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day. What will you be doing? - I plan on walking in the Moms Wholehearted: 1st Annual Angel Walk!! Can't wait!

16: Do you take time for yourself? I have lots of time.. maybe not exactly for myself, but I try.

17: Do you feel your child is watching over you? I feel her around me constantly.

18: Have you found something that puts you at peace? Talking about her definitely gives me some peace.

19: What is your happiest memory of your child(ren)? Holding her in my arms for that very wonderful 5 hours!

20: If you have anger.....What are you most angry about? - I still always think the "Why me??". Me & Chris just don't understand why this had to happen to us. We did everything right in my pregnancy, and we had so much love to give a child.. It just doesn't make sense.

21: Is there something about your child(ren) that brings a smile to your face?

Her name.. I am so in love with it.

22: Do you have a song or songs that make you think of your child(ren)

I have many! My Light by Sully Erna is what me & Chris got tattooed on our sides in honor of her.

23: Besides changing the outcome, what is one thing you would have done differently?

I would have done so many things differently, but I am not going to live in regret everyday of the things I did not do.

24: On Birthday's, Diagnosis Day's, Anniversaries of Passing. Do you prepare for them?

I still have yet to go through alot of these. I will see when the time comes.

25: On Birthday's, Diagnosis Day's, Anniversaries of Passing. How do you handle them?

Still have yet to find out.

26: On a scale of 1 to 10 rate your day today and why?

probably a 4. Very average. I'm not too down but I'm not happy either.

27: Share a picture.

Us loving on our girl <3

28: Have you ever corrected or wish you corrected someone about your loss? Yes, unfortunately people have been very wrong about Cali's diagnoses.. It saddens me people have to gossip about a child that isn't even here on earth. How low can people get?

29: What are your beliefs as far as where you think your child(ren) is/are. Will you see each other again? She is with God.. In heaven! I can't wait until the day I can have her in my arms again!

30: How are your preparing for the end of the year? (ie: Holiday's and starting a new year)

Trying for another Groover baby!  Hoping that will give us some kind of Hope & Happiness to help with the horrible pain we have everyday. We need something to actually look forward to.

31: Do you feel like 31 questions has helped you open up more about your child(ren)?- Yes very much so!